Language has the power to create our world. For real. A teacher of mine, Susanne Conrad, used to always offer up this: that what we state, creates. Here's another one: where our focus goes, energy flows. Whatever it is that we're saying or we're telling ourselves, well...we're right. And not right in the 'preachy get up on the soapbox and tell others they're wrong kinda way of being right, but affirming that the way we use words develops what we see around us.
SO. If that's the case, why not use our words in the most personally empowering, meaningful, creative and generative way possible?
Words have a frequency. Words have a feeling. And choosing the ones that help create the kind of life experience you want to have? That's a heck yes and something worth investing a little heart in.
With three simple shake ups in commonly (aka: mindlessly) used words and phrases, you can effectively shift the way you feel about your life, your work, your community, even things like grocery shopping, and bring a touch more ease, choice, peace and positivity into your day to day.
Here are three of the most impactful word diets that have shifted my personal life and professional game big time.
Stop 'should'ing all over yourself.
Two short sayings tie a lot of folks up in a lot of yuck, a lot of the time: 'I have to' and 'I should.' What's the real-real with both of those? Obligation. Life in chains. Living on someone else's terms. Zero choice.
The fix? 'Get to.' 'Going to.' 'Want to.' 'Am.' A simple shake up with replacing every 'have to' or 'should' with a choice or action driven alternative puts the power back in your hands and choice back on your side. Imagine creating every task as something you 'get' to do; that you're privileged enough to 'get to go to work', to 'get to go grocery shopping' to buy food for your fridge, or something as simple as being well enough to 'want to go for a walk'.
You're in the driver's seat of your life. You get to be the weather maker and decide how it is you want to interact with all the elements of your day to day; menial tasks to grandiose experiences. Instil some choice, appreciation and gratitude by letting go of the 'have tos' and putting yourself in the 'creating my life' captain's chair [Hey: seen Captain Phillips?]
THE 'B' WORD.
The dang 'B' word: BUSY. A note: the term 'busy body' means 'a meddling or prying person'. Ummmmm no thanks. As I see it, you can have your chock-a-block calendar AND still enjoy the fact that you have SO much going on in your life. That's why I'm saying we toss 'busy' out the window and roll with a word that's got a lower frequency, non-meddling vibes and a healthy dose of that appreciation and gratitude stuff.
The replacement: FULL. Instead of saying 'I'm so busy', try 'Life is full' and see how that feels. If someone says "Oh I know you're really busy but [insert request for your time or that beautiful brain of yours here]', and you can lovingly respond with 'You're right - my schedule is full of things I love but I'm happy to make space for [their request here].' (OR 'Go kick rocks.' if your week is legit filled up. JK. But also...boundaries and graceful 'no's.)
There's a level of ease that comes along with a full week, and another healthy dose of appreciation for all the 'stuffs' you get to have in your day to day. Try on 'full' in place of 'busy' and see what response you get within, and from people around you.
Apologize with heart (REMEMBER: this is coming from a Canadian).
Time to own the 'sorry' story, fellow Canadians. And for that matter, fellow 'sorry' sayers world wide. Why? It's as overused as it comes, and wildly diluted. And, the word is rooted in regret, pity, sorrow...is that what we want to be speaking more of into the world these days (read: ever)? We say 'I'm sorry' then carry sorriness with us. We use it as mindlessly as opening the fridge when we're having a snack attack; like expecting something to happen on the other side of it when we haven't gone to the grocery store to re-up the contents.
Now, I'm not saying be a complete jerk and don't apologize. The opposite, in fact. Own your shit, friends. And my challenge is this: choose 'I apologize' in the cases where you need to own your #derp. And up level that a step: trying asking for forgiveness. Why?
#1: We need more forgiveness, compassion and empathy in the world - mostly, for ourselves and yes, between us as humans. #2: Asking for forgiveness creates a two way conversation with another. It allows the other person to take care of themselves; to either forgive in the moment or to request time and space to process the situation. But when forgiveness is on the table, getting relationship back rooted in communication and care for one another is possible. And creates more forgiveness, more letting go, in this wild world of ours.
Use these language shake ups to lower your frequency and give your dang adrenal glands a rest. A little less physical, mental and emotional stress in and on your body, will give you that 'aaahhhhhhhhh' feel, and shift your perspective to see everything you do as a choice, and one that you can make the most of simply by how you talk about it.
Then...watch a little JBiebs and be reminded of the overuse of the 5 letter 'S' word AND how badass Parris Goebel and her dancers are. #sorrynotsorry.